I've Loved You Forever
by ct522
Summary: Katniss and Peeta have known each other all their lives. But a lifetime of missed opportunities culminates in an encounter that has serious consequences for both of them. Outlined for five chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**I was given a series of prompts from a fic writing meme on tumblr. From three of those, I created a short, continuous fic. Each prompt is the title of each chapter. This is outlined for five chapters.**

**Part 1: ****Prompt 5) One Night Stand and Falling Pregnant AU**

"There's nothing wrong with the stick, K. It's positive." said Johanna slowly, as Katniss stared down at the unmistakable pink double line that was darkening with every moment that passed.

"No!" Katniss hissed, her voice steadily rising with her hysteria. "Where's the receipt? I want my money back!"

Johanna screwed up her face. "Now that's just fucking gross! You do _not_ take used pregnancy tests back to drugstore. Even I wouldn't do that!" She took the stick away from Katniss and tossed it with the other three used ones in the waste paper basket, each one having given up the same result. She turned back to a pale Katniss, who stood shaking in front of the mirror. The tiny dimensions of the bathroom reminded Johanna of the size of the small two-bedroom apartment Katniss shared with her little sister, Prim, an apartment that could barely fit the two of them, much less an infant. She took Katniss by the shoulders and turned her around, taking in her distraught features and grey eyes that had gone wide with terror. "Okay, so who's the baby daddy?"

Katniss wrenched herself away from Johanna and pushed past her towards the kitchen, "God, please, don't say 'baby daddy!' It's so…"

"So _what_, Kat?" she said, heading to the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of cheap red wine that they'd opened last night. Katniss sat down at the breakfast bar while her friend poured two glasses and handed one to her. "Is it Gale's? Did you guys hook back up without telling me?"

Katniss looked at the glass with an expression of mild disgust. "No, it's not Gale. He's with Madge now. And anyway, I don't have to check in with you every time I get laid," she groused angrily, a scowl settling over her features as she pushed the glass away from her.

"No," Johanna answered. "But you haven't seen dick in six months and then all of a sudden you're pregnant? You're not the Virgin Mary!" Katniss continued to eye the wine warily. "Why are you looking at your glass like that?"

Katniss shook her head. "It's not good for the baby."

Johanna practically jumped out of her chair, grabbing fistfulls of her hair as she paced. "Okay, let's not...let's not do that right now. _A little wine won't hurt the 'baby'_," she mimicked impatiently, making air quotes as she spoke. "We need to establish paternity here…"

Katniss closed her eyes, a shaky breath wracking her slim frame. "I know who the father is," she said quietly.

Johanna looked at her friend who was sitting stock still as if in a yoga pose, taking deep breaths that seemed to do nothing to calm her. She continued to study Katniss, wracking her memory for any indication of what her friend might have been up to when suddenly she froze, her eyes widening and an idea dawned on her. "Kat, don't tell me...you don't mean...?"

Katniss put her head down on her arm. "I did it. I finally did it."

"You fucked Peeta Mellark?" Jo shouted, walking around the counter to stare down at her friend in disbelief. "You fucked your tragic, childhood crush, Peeta Mellark and didn't tell me?" Johanna shook her head vigorously, causing her short brown hair to bounce around her small, oval-shaped face. "You fucked baker-boy-turned-manwhore Peeta Mellark? Without protection? Without telling me?" her voice had risen in an octave-shattering crescendo that ended with practically a squeal, something Jo never did. "And you got knocked-the-fuck up? Have I not taught you anything?"

"I used protection! I don't know what happened!" wailed Katniss as the realization of her situation crashed down on her. She considered her sister, Prim, who still had two years of college to complete and even though she was on a scholarship, they needed every penny Katniss could scrounge together to help pay for their dingy apartment and their broken-down car. A baby would be catastrophic, not just for Katniss, but also for her sister. Katniss had just gotten hired on to her job at the lab and besides the miserable starting pay, she was still on her probationary period. She didn't even have health benefits yet.

"Kat, I thought it was a coffee date! How do you go from Starbucks to...this?" Johanna indicated towards Katniss' belly in pure disbelief.

"I...well, we got to talking and one thing led to another…" Katniss involuntarily gave a half-smile, thinking of the memory of Peeta's confession, their race to get back to his apartment, the taste of espresso on his lips, his blazing blue eyes when she stood naked before him, his blond hair in her hands, the feel of him between her legs…

"The condom must have broken," Katniss said quietly. "Well, one of the condoms…"

"One of the condoms," Jo repeated, equally quiet, sitting down as the indignation fled her body, leaving her tired and weak. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought you always, you know, liked him?"

Katniss lowered her head, unable to look her friend in the face. "It was just a one-night stand. If I didn't tell you, then it wouldn't be real and I figured it would be easier to forget about him."

"He didn't call you back, did he?" Johanna asked with infinite kindness. Katniss had been through everything and deserved so much better than this. "That motherfucker didn't call you back."

Instead of answering, Katniss put her head in her hands."I'm so fucked!" she said slowly, pronouncing each word like a death sentence.

Johanna narrowed her eyes at her. "No, you're not. You know what you have to do."

It was then that the tears came, one after another until she was sobbing. Katniss didn't cry - not since her father died and her mother committed suicide. People in school used to say she didn't have tear ducts; she was tough and aloof and no one could get close to her, even the people that Katniss dreamed of being close to. Even the boy who'd been her best friend and had grown apart from her and was now nothing but a regret. "I know, I know," she said. Johanna hugged her hard as Katniss mourned what could not be.

"We'll figure it out. You'll see," she said soothingly, rocking her as her friend fell apart. But Johanna Mason was not one to stand by while her friends were trampled by others, especially someone like Katniss, who never asked anything more out of life but to have a little peace and be able to take care of her sister. No, Jo was not the forgiving kind.

"No, you're _going_ to be okay," she said fiercely. She was going to make sure of it. And she knew exactly who was going to make sure that Katniss Everdeen would be okay, if she had to drag him kicking and screaming to fulfill his responsibilities.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2: ****Prompt 2) Childhood Best Friends**

Katniss lay in bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling of her bedroom. When her neighbors upstairs were particularly rowdy, chips of spackle would fall down on her, sometimes at night when she wasn't even aware of it. She'd wake the next morning to pieces on the bed, which she'd quickly dispense with by shaking her duvet outside her window. They had an apartment on the third floor of a tenement building, her window view being that of the stone blocks of the building next door. The white chips would float down like feathers on the alley below.

She thought back to that rainy afternoon when she'd set out to the bookstore in search of free wi-fi. She and Prim couldn't afford cable so Katniss thought the inconvenience of leaving her house was worth the benefit of not having to pay the outrageous cost for having internet at home.

She got more than wi-fi out of the visit. Sitting at her computer, listening to her music, she was oblivious to her surroundings until she became aware that someone had approached her. It was the last person she ever thought she'd see again.

"Katniss? Katniss Everdeen?" he asked, with an expression between curiosity and surprise.

"Peeta Mellark? Wow, it's been…"

"Years," he stared down at her dumbfounded, before pulling out the chair before her. "May I?"

Katniss floundered for a moment. He hadn't changed - still the same wavy, gold hair, the blue eyes framed by those impossibly long lashes. He'd lost the look of boyishness and was all hard angles and definition except for his eyes, which were so round and blue, nothing in the world could make them appear fierce. She'd simply nodded when he'd taken the seat across from her, as if fifteen years hadn't passed since her father died and changed everything in her life. As if they were still best friends.

It had been a factory accident that had taken her father from her. Her mother had lasted all of six months before downing a bottle of sleeping pills, essentially leaving eleven year-old Katniss and 8 year-old Prim to their own devices. Katniss was still reeling from her father's death when she had been forced to take care of herself and her sister and would have ended up in foster care had it not been for Uncle Haymitch and Aunt Effie. When she moved in with her uncle and aunt into their house across town, she lost everything - the home she'd known since she was a baby, the neighborhood, her school and all her childhood friends, especially her best friend.

She never had another friend like Peeta Mellark. Johanna was ferociously devoted to her - loyal and protective in every way. She could tell her anything. But Peeta had known her since she was five. They'd gone to school together. They'd played together. He'd snuck cheese buns out of his bakery and brought them to her house. He'd shared his toys and books with none of the hesitation her other friends seemed to have. Even at a young age, he was unfailingly generous, particularly with Katniss and he'd made her feel safe and wanted in a way no one had made her feel afterwards.

He knew her before she had been ground down by life and circumstance. To her mind, he'd known a better, more pure version of herself, one that hadn't been irrevocably altered by life's tragedies. The person she'd become afterwards was jaded and damaged beyond repair. She'd become a person even she didn't want to know.

So when she'd seen him in the halls of Panem High five years later, it had been with a feeling of shock. He'd changed so much. Peeta had grown up to become a wrestling star - medium height, stocky, wide-shouldered and so painfully handsome that girls fell at his feet. Katniss had wanted to speak to him, had wanted to say something to maybe recover what they'd had but his circle of friends had changed. He was popular and sought after and she quickly resigned herself to the fact that they'd become too different to get back to the way they'd been and so she hadn't even tried.

It was the same in college - Peeta Mellark, studying art on a wrestling scholarship - a rare combination of brawn and sensitivity that made him seem unreachable. If Katniss had been a satellite in high school, she was in another galaxy altogether in college. In addition, the stress of supporting her sister and herself through part-time jobs and grants made dating anyone next to impossible, with exception of her ex-boyfriend, Gale Hawthorne. But even their relationship had fizzled into companionship.

When she'd bumped into Peeta at the bookstore, she had long given up on ever having anything to do with him again. They'd graduated from college by then and she'd moved to the opposite end of the county. Her sole objective was to get her sister, Prim, through school. She hadn't given a second thought to her lost childhood friend. So it was a surreal afternoon when he invited her for coffee. Surreal, and unimaginable and soon, they were in his apartment, unable to get beyond the living room, their clothes in disarray. And that night seemed to last forever.

Her mind went around in circles when she was interrupted by the pounding at her front door. She considered playing possum and laying in bed until whoever it was went away but the pounding just got louder and more insistent. As Katniss sat up, she heard a sound like rocks rattling against the window pane. Squinting toward the glass, she confirmed that someone was, indeed, throwing pebbles at her window. When she looked down on the darkened alley, she could see the unmistakable figure of Johanna.

"Brainless, open the door!" she shouted from below.

"Shhhhh! Okay, okay!" she sprinted out of her room, pausing only to throw on her pajama pants, before yanking the door open.

She almost fainted when she saw that it was none other than Peeta Mellark standing in her doorway.

Katniss stood rooted to the spot, unable to think or speak. It was him, at the threshold, filling up every corner of empty space with his presence. Katniss's breath caught in her chest as she looked up into his incredibly blue eyes, eyes that made her forget herself and everything around her. They blazed as he stared down at her and it was the expression she saw there that brought her out of her stupor. She looked over his shoulder but Johanna was nowhere to be found. Katniss knew she was responsible for this and would have her ass before the night was over.

"Peeta? Wow, I, uh, do you want to come in?" she asked, barely above a whisper.

Peeta slowly took in the sight of her, his eyes running slowly over her tousled dark hair, white t-shirt and green cotton pajama pants before nodding his head. Shutting the door behind him, Katniss was at a loss and decided to rely on good manners until she could think her way out of this particular dilemma.

"Would you...would you like to sit down? I could get you...something…"

"Why?" said Peeta, and it wasn't anger, it wasn't indignation. It was hurt she detected in his voice and it caused her to wither inside.

"What?" Katniss asked in confusion.

"I don't want to sit down. I just want to know why. We had this amazing night together and then you go and give me a fake number...just why? Why bother? And why did you send Johanna to come find me after a month without even a word from you? I just want to know so I can go home with at least this one mystery solved."

"Johanna came to get you?" she asked, avoiding his most difficult questions.

Peeta's brow furrowed. "You didn't ask her to come find me?" He shook his head in exasperation. "You didn't even know I was coming, did you?" Peeta turned around and opened the front door. "Sorry, I was under another impression."

"Peeta!" she shouted, perhaps a little too loudly, causing him to turn towards her. "Please. Stay."

He looked warily at her before shutting the door, unwilling to move.

"I didn't know Johanna was going to go chase you down. But that doesn't mean I'm not...happy to see you. Please, sit down."

Peeta narrowed his eyes at her for a moment before following her into the kitchen. Indicating the breakfast table, Katniss directed him to sit.

"Wine? Water?" she asked nervously, looking through the otherwise bare contents of the refrigerator.

"No, I'm good," he answered.

"Okay," she said quietly. She was being evasive and Peeta wasn't having it. She was pregnant, that was true, and clearly, Jo had gone out of her way to track down Peeta because of that. But she didn't know the whole story, didn't know what Katniss done to create this situation and now Peeta was here, rightfully demanding an explanation.

"How much did Johanna tell you?" she asked cautiously. He hadn't mentioned the pregnancy so she was sure that he didn't know yet.

"Nothing, only that it was urgent that I come see you because you had something to tell me. I wasn't going to come," he said this, and the edge of anger was still in his voice. "But I guess if I knew once and for all what was going through your mind that day, I could have some closure and go on with my life."

Katniss nodded, her hand resting instinctively over her stomach. "Well, first of all, I acted like an ass and I'm sorry. I was scared, I guess."

"Of what? Of me?" he asked in confusion.

"Not of you. I didn't think you were going to say to me you what you said."

"I told you that I'd had a crush on you since were were children. I told you that I cared about you all of my life. Why would something like that scare you?" he probed, the anger dissipating from his voice.

"Peeta...I'm no good for you," she blurted out, glancing at the stack of unpaid bills just beside me, the one that she never seemed to be able to get to the bottom of. ". I...I'm not the person I used to be. I gave you a fake number because I've got a ton of problems. I'm not really any good for dating."

Peeta stared at her for a moment, cocking his head to one side. "With all due respect, that's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard…"

Katniss could feel her eyes becoming slits as her anger overcame her. "Look, if you're just going to insult me, you can go ahead and go. In fact, just forget it!" She didn't need him or anyone else. "I'm sorry I gave you a bogus number but we were kids the last time we were friends and we're not kids anymore. I've got bigger problems than thinking about who I'm going to kiss!"

Peeta's brow furrowed and suddenly, his expression softened. "Katniss, I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm saying that what you just _said _was stupid."

"And how is that any better?" she asked indignantly.

Peeta rose from his seat and made his way over to where she stood motionless. His size made the small space of his her kitchen collapse to nothing, giving her a sudden feeling of claustrophobia.

"Because, I know you aren't stupid. I'm not trying to insult you. But I had been waiting my entire life for that night. Did it look for one moment that I was thinking whether you were any good for me or not?"

Katniss breathed deeply, feeling heady from his proximity, the fact that he appeared to take up all the air around her. "No, you never gave me that impression. But you've been with a lot of girls. What makes me so special?" she asked nervously.

Peeta shook his head, his face suffused in disbelief. "I've been with girls looking for one who would make me feel even remotely what I've always felt for you. You don't get to decide if you're good or not for me. I'm a big boy. I can decide that by myself."

His immediacy brought back the memory of that night in his apartment and for an instant, she was there with him again. She remembered kissing him - his hands on either side of her face as he'd captured her lips. He had broken her down, with each swipe of his tongue, wearing away her resistance to him, trapping her with his need until she'd lost the desire to be anywhere else.

And he did it again. His lips brushed hers, pushing everything from her mind. The force of her response took her by surprise, resigned as she had been to not seeing him again. She pressed her body up against his, her hands threading their way into his hair and she kissed him back. She didn't often take things for herself, accustomed as she was to think of everyone else first. So she kissed Peeta greedily, for no other reason but that she took pleasure in the taste of his mouth, the way his hips ground into hers, the feel of his body under her fingertips.

It was when his hands slipped under the elastic of her pants, kneading the firm curve of her buttocks that Katniss stepped back, laying her palms against his rock-hard chest.

"Peeta," she gasped breathlessly, her body screaming at the interruption, "Stop! I'm...I'm pregnant!"

If Katniss had flung ice water at his face, he could not have been more shocked. For a moment, he only stared at her, as if trying to comprehend her words. He shook his head slowly, warding off the truth of her words.

"You're...what?" he said, his face becoming paler by the moment.

"It's why Johanna went to find you. I'm pregnant and I...well, I need to make a decision about what to do."

Peeta shook his head again in disbelief. "We used protection. Every time!"

Katniss' shoulders slumped. Saying this to Peeta, now, of all times, was tantamount to signing a death warrant on any chances they might have had at a real relationship. She saw it in his eyes, the way he slowly drew back from her, recoiling in terror or perhaps revulsion.

"Are you...sure?" he asked.

"Am I sure that I'm pregnant or am I sure it's yours? What answer are you looking for?" she spat angrily.

"Both," he said quietly, "I suppose."

Katniss' heart fell into her stomach. What else was there for him to say? They hadn't seen each since they graduated college four years before. The only thing they had in common was the memory of a childhood friendship and several near misses and lost opportunities. She could have been any other girl in the world and in that anonymity, became no one at all.

"I'm sure. But I guess you only have my word for it."

Peeta's arms hung limp at his sides as the shock of what she said washed over him. He looked past her, searching the air for answers that were not there.

"I need to take a walk," he said. "To process things."

"Of course," she said, suddenly feeling very tired. She watched as he stepped past her, until he disappeared through the door of her apartment. It was very likely that this time, she would not see him again.

Katniss turned like a marionette, her strings tugging her along without real volition on her part, and mechanically made her way back to her room to continue her meditation of the chipped paint of her ceiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3: Prompt 1) Soul Mates**

Two perfect braids. That's how Katniss always wore her hair to school. The color was as dark as a starless night. She began the school day with each hair in place as if she were a painting. But as lovely as she was, she was also a tomboy so that by day's end, her braids were a disarray of wild wisps escaping their confinement.

Peeta also remembered her voice. She sang all the time when they were children. When her father walked her to class, her voice arrived before she did, carrying nursery rhymes or traditional songs belonging to her father's people from the mountains. Peeta couldn't carry a tune himself. Even so, he memorized the songs she sang and followed along silently, the words captured in his young heart. He hadn't known how soon he would need them, how suddenly the moment came when he would have to comfort himself with those songs because the girl who sang them would be gone.

"She stopped singing when her father died," Peeta said quietly, his words hanging heavy with pity even after so many years. Mr. Everdeen had been a gentle father and a doting husband and he remembered him with great fondness. Katniss had loved her father in that way only a little girl could - with the force of her first great love. His death had altered her irrevocably until, when they finally met again in high school, she was not longer a sprightly girl who sang whenever she could. She had become aloof and untouchable.

"I remember when her uncle and aunt took her and her sister away," Delly said as she set a cup of tea before Peeta, who took a cautious sip to prolong the silence.

"That was a bad time. We had no warning. She just didn't come to school one day and then she was gone," he said after a time.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Delly sat down across from Peeta, adjusting her apron strings, freeing the strands of curly blond hair that had become tangled in the knot. She had been friends with Peeta for as long as he could remember. He was in her wedding party when she married Thom and was the godfather of her son. There was no one he trusted more.

"Whatever she wants me to do. I took a walk for awhile after she told me and then drove straight here." Peeta rubbed his face in frustration. "She didn't call me after our last...date. She gave me a fake number and then out of the blue, she's tells me she's pregnant and I don't know…"

"You're sure it's yours?" she said this but the discomfort of saying it was clear on her face.

"I'm sure. She wasn't even going to tell me herself. Her friend, Johanna, took it upon herself to find me. There was no intention by Katniss to lie. And...well, it seemed she hadn't been with anyone in a while when I was with her…" he said sheepishly.

Delly put her hand up. "TMI! I'm too old for all that," she laughed. "Do you care about her? I mean, you're with...who are you with right now?" She teased, knowing her friend very well.

"I'm between situations," he said vaguely. "It doesn't matter. Katniss would trump everything else."

Delly leaned back in her chair, considering Peeta with an air of confusion. "But you haven't seen her in ages. And then when you do, she makes sure you can't find her again."

"I know but, when I saw her in that shop, I didn't realize how much I had been missing her. But I had. A lot. We didn't have anything to do with each other, not really, in high school and college. We just ran in different circles but it was like I knew everything that was going on with her. I wasn't indifferent to her at all." he chuckled without humor.

"A stalker?" Delly teased.

Peeta chuckled. "More like just really well-informed. But she always looked like she didn't want to be bothered. Delly, I don't know. I'm not even sure what kind of feelings she has for me. Do I really want to encourage her to have a baby?"

"You have to help her, no matter what," she said sternly.

"And I will. Whatever she wants to do, I'll support her. But is it strange that there is also a part of me that wants her to keep the baby, that wants her to let me take care of them both? It took just that one night, and it's totally ass-backwards but I haven't stopped thinking about her and I'm just not as horrified by the thought as I should be!" Peeta said this with frustration.

"Well, you let her guide you on what she wants. She may not want to keep the baby and truthfully, you don't have a strong enough claim on her to do anything about it." Delly put her hand over his. "Children are hard work and you are proposing to sort out your feelings for Katniss while preparing to bring a child in to this world - you're asking for a lot."

"I know, but there are relationships that start with a lot less," he said as he finished the last of his tea.

"A lot of this is out of your hands. It may be that knowing she has your support will be the most important factor in any decision she makes. But you need to go tell her that, if possible, right now. She doesn't know you like I do. She may think you left and are never coming back again. She never struck me as a completely trusting person, growing up."

Peeta stood suddenly and set the teacup in the sink. "Thank you. I just needed to talk it out."

"I know." she said as she walked him to the door. "Don't keep me wondering, okay? Tell me what happens." She stood on tip toes and kissed his cheek.

"I will," he said as pulled out his car keys. There was nothing more to do than to go to Katniss now. He'd offer her his support and friendship. That was as good a place to start as any.

**XXXXX**

He found himself before the run-down tenement door for the second time today. It was still warm and sunny, though the afternoon was waning into evening. As he rapped on the heavy,worn wood, Peeta thought the first thing he would do was get her the hell out of that hole. He caught himself, however, and took a deep breath. _Easy boy, don't put the cart before the horse. She may not want anything to do with you..._

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the buzzer. Pushing the door open, he took the stairs two at a time as he made his way up to the third floor. Johanna had been the one to tell him which floor to go to, which door to knock on. Just thinking back on how she appeared at his apartment, like a wraith full of purpose and anger, demanding that he go see Katniss as if he had been summoned, filled him with a vague irritation for the girl who claimed to be Katniss' best friend. She was brusque and rude but she had also been right to make him come. Katniss might never have contacted him on her own.

Arriving on the familiar landing, he rapped at the door. It was only a moment when it was opened, not by Katniss, but by a tall, extremely pretty blond girl that Peeta instantly recognized as Katniss' sister, Prim.

"Hi, eh, I don't think you remember me but…"

"Peeta Mellark! Holy shit!" she laughed. It was an infectious sound that brought a smile to his face. "Oh, my god...Katniss!" she called over her shoulder. "Guess who's here?" she turned back towards him and stepped aside. "Come in! Wow!" she looked him up and down. "You've changed!"

"You too, Prim. You're all grown up now," Peeta laughed despite himself.

"Well, yeah! I wasn't going to stay a baby all my life." At that moment, Katniss stepped into view, her eyes wide with shock. She'd changed and now wore a simple button down shirt with jeans. Despite all the madness of the last day, the shock and confusion of seeing her, he couldn't help but note how good she looked, and how very much attracted he was to her.

"Were you going out?" he blurted out unthinkingly.

"For a little. Did you...did you want to join me?" Katniss stammered.

"I...yeah. I was hoping we could...talk." Peeta said and a sudden, palpable tension fell between the three of them.

Prim looked knowingly between Katniss's stricken face and Peeta's before breaking the silence. "Well, I'd love to join you but I have a test to study for. It was nice seeing you again!"

"Yeah, me too," he responded as she waved him off.

Without the distraction of Prim, Peeta found it incredibly difficult to speak to Katniss. He thought he knew what he wanted to say but didn't know the best way to say it so he blurted out, "I'm sorry."

Katniss scowled, somewhat taken aback. "Why sorry?"

"For leaving like that. You probably thought I wasn't coming back."

Katniss gave a half smirk that confirmed to him it was exactly what she'd thought. "I have to admit, I'm surprised to see you."

"Well, I'm here. I just wanted to tell you…"

"Can we not…" Katniss interrupted, looking meaningfully toward where her sister had disappeared to. "Prim doesn't know."

"Oh, right." Peeta nodded in understanding. "Is there a place close by where we can talk?"

"The coffee shop around the corner," she said as she grabbed her purse from the counter. "Seems appropriate, right?"

**XXXXX**

Peeta was surprised at how close the shop was from her house. He wasn't that familiar with this part of town but he knew the bookstore and the coffee shop well and wondered how many times he might have just missed Katniss and not realized it as he'd gone about his business. He couldn't help thinking that what most defined him and Katniss was the number of times they'd passed each other by in their lives, how many opportunities they'd missed without even knowing it. There was something very sad and wasteful about that.

"I've been here a few times and had no idea you were so close by. What a shame," he blurted out.

Katniss' stared at him, her grey eyes concentrating on him as if trying to figure something out. "What would you have done had you known?" She would have sounded coy were it not for the absolute earnestness of her expression.

"I wouldn't have let all this time pass." He leaned forward, tired of the evasion. They'd said nothing to each other on the way there and he was ready to put everything on the table. "Nothing I said the last time we were together has changed. I don't know what impression I gave you earlier. I was overwhelmed and I'm sorry. But whatever you need, whatever decision you make, I'll accept it and support you."

Katniss visibly relaxed, so much so, she looked like she was about to cry. "Thank you. I really don't…" she gasped as the enormity of it seemed to settle on her. "I feel like I'm still taking care of my sister. I'm not ready for this. And yet, I feel like the alternative is even more horrible."

Peeta stared at her slender hand, resting lightly on the table and resisted the urge to take it. "You don't have to feel horrible about anything. Nothing you do will be wrong."

"Maybe," she said as she tapped the table nervously and this time, Peeta gave in and placed his over hers.

"I know this isn't the right time, maybe, but I don't want this to be the only thing between us. I was serious when I said that I've cared for you, for a long time. That night, I felt something...you can't tell me you didn't feel it too."

Katniss took a tremulous breath, shaking her head imperceptibly. "I'd be a lying if I said I didn't."

"You didn't miss me just a little bit this month?" he said, spreading his fingers over her hand. To his relief, she turned it over and let his fingers capture hers.

"I did," she said. "But this isn't a great way to start a relationship."

Peeta shrugged. "To me, this would have happened any way, if things hadn't been interrupted. It isn't perfect or even ideal but I'll take this over nothing at all with you. Aren't you even a little curious about trying? Because I am. I'm not nearly as petrified as I should be about all this. That says something to me."

"It tells me you're crazy," she said, smiling finally.

"Then let's be crazy together. What have you got to lose?" he said, dazzled by the way her faced changed when she wasn't scowling..

"This is not how this conversation was supposed to go." she said, squeezing his hand.

"Nothing between us went the way it was supposed to go. I'd like to think we are setting all that straight again."

Katniss nodded, and Peeta imagined what was going through her mind - her father, her mother, moving, fighting uphill against life. He didn't have to know all the details to know that life was constantly battling against her. "So," she said, "Where do we start?"

He smirked conspiratorily. "We should start with tea. Never underestimate the power of good tea. If you allow it, of course."

She shook her head, suppressing a half laugh. "Okay. It's a little scary, but I allow it."

_**Send me a Ship and a Number and I'll Write You a Short Fic**_


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